Being Real with Being Single

Oh I’m sure I could think of numerous titles for this post! Another one might be, “Still No Boo for the Holidays, version 2014!” Yes, it’s the holiday season! Decorations are being placed delicately around the house, family feasts are being carefully planned and seasonal music can be heard blaring from your speakers. “All is merry, all is bright”......until it comes to your relationship status. We have ALL been there ladies! Some of us, including myself, are still there!(wherever “there” is) We represent the still single: sister, cousin, friend, daughter, aunt, coworker, etc.

Let me be honest and say what some may NOT say: Sometimes being single really SUCKS!!! Ladies, there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your life with someone! And for all those people that tell you different, well don’t expect everyone to identify with your journey. I am currently single and I would be lying if I didn’t tell y’all that I get sad sometimes because I don’t have a special someone to call my own! Yes, I often...wait! Did y’all hear me? I OFTEN sit and wonder, “What is wrong with me?”, “Why am I STILL single?”, “If she has a man, why don’t I?” Yes, I’ve even wrote out a list(don’t act like you don’t have a list too) and then prayed for him. So trust me, I feel you!!!

But, when I really stop and think about where I am and I think about being single, there are some questions I need to ask myself. I hope these questions cause you to stop and think and help you in some way as well.

1. If I’m praying for God to send me a godly man, am I doing what God asks me to do?

Ouch! I’m talking to myself with that one! It’s like asking your boss for a raise, but you don’t want to work! Not gonna happen!! So if I’m praying for this man of God and I want God to bless me in this area of my life, I need to do what God asks of me. Sidenote: we do not obey God to get blessed. We should obey to be a blessing to others!

2. Why do I want a relationship?

This is a question we should all ask ourselves. Is it for show? You know, so you can post all on your Facebook and/or Instagram page? Some women feel that they haven’t accomplished anything in life if they aren’t married with a family. Don’t feel bad, I used to feel that way too! But remember, married or not, you can still make a difference in this world! Do you want your relationship to please God? Will your relationship bring others to Christ? Will you help ladies to stay pure? Will you honor God in your dating? Again, if you desire God to be in your relationship, then you need to know he wants it to serve a purpose! That’s why you hear some people refer to their dating as “dating with a purpose.” The purpose is ultimately marriage and continuing to build up the kingdom of God by living a life pleasing to God.

3. What else are you bringing to the table?

Ladies…..now you can be cute and all that, but if you can’t hold an intelligent conversation or a job, well you might want to bookmark this post to refer to in 2015! Get what I’m saying?! We must be busy doing our part!

4. Lastly, check yourself!

What I mean is after all is said and done, you know yourself BEST! In your own way, decide: are you REALLY ready for a committed relationship? are you REALLY ready to wait on God for your future mate? are you prepared to be single if that’s in God’s plans for you? You know deep, down all of the answers to these questions. Keep praying about it and talk with a trusted friend or family to help you work through this process.

I end this post with wanting to share some of my personal thoughts/feelings:

-I get tired of being the “single” girl that gets looks, but nothing more.

- I struggle with being content being single and I think it’s because at my age, not being married with a family is not looked upon very favorably.

-I’ve tried changing who I am to mold myself into what is deemed an “approachable” woman. Yea, that didn’t work out nor did it get me any closer to what I wanted.

-I have a very difficult time when I pray about what’s in God’s will for me as far as a relationship goes. 
I said all of this for a reason. I’m struggling too and I really do understand! What I won’t do is SETTLE! I blog and share so maybe I can help someone who feels like I do and/or struggles like I do. Even though it may seem everyone is “booed” up, don’t give into the pressure. Trust God’s timing, trust yourself and BE STILL. I can’t promise you’ll get a man this year or the next. I won’t tell you it will get easier, because everyone’s journey is different. I WILL tell you that if you do what God asks of you and focus on loving yourself and others, there is a blessing in your obedience! As always, hope my story encourages you. Until next time…..be blessed!

Verses to encourage you:

Isaiah 43: 4-Others were given in exchange for you.

   I traded their lives for yours

because you are precious to me.

   You are honored, and I love you.

I Corinthians 13: 4-7-Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.